"Who am I" Alan Watts

The most fascinating problem

The most fascinating problem in the world is the question “Who am I?”. It is a mysterious and focused investigation, seeking to understand the deep meaning behind the word “I”. Our innermost essence eludes direct observation, just as we cannot look directly into our own eyes without a mirror. Most people in the West feel that the “I” is the center of awareness and action, residing inside a physical body, locked in a “skin bag”. But is this the correct conception of the self? And what is our true place in the universe around us?

The illusion of separation between man and the world

The common sense of separation between the self and the outside world is deeply rooted in the Western consciousness. We tend to think of ourselves as a soul or spiritual essence trapped in a physical body, and the world as a foreign place to which we have arrived. But the more we look at it more deeply, we will find that this idea is absurd. Did we really “arrive” in this world as separate entities? Biology and science indicate that we actually grew out of the world, as the fruit grows from the tree. We are an expression of the entire universe, and not alien beings that landed in it out of nowhere.

Two misconceptions that dominated Western thought

Throughout history, two central concepts have shaped Western man’s relationship to the world. The first sees the universe as a handiwork, as an object created by God the Creator, similar to a craftsman creating pottery. According to this approach, God is the supreme architect and artist of creation, and man is a creation made in his image and likeness. The second view, which developed in the modern era, paints the universe as a cold and mindless machine. Blind forces move him, and the emergence of human consciousness is an unusual and inexplicable case. These two approaches create a sense of disconnection and alienation between man and the world. But they are fundamentally wrong.

The inherent intelligence of the world

How is it possible that an intelligent and conscious being will emerge from a stupid and unconscious universe? According to a deeper understanding, it is impossible for an organism with consciousness like man to develop in an environment devoid of intelligence. Our very existence indicates that the world itself is a smart and conscious being. Even what seems to us to be inert, like rocks, contains a form of consciousness. The rock responds to actions applied to it, such as a sound produced by a string. This reaction is a simple form of consciousness, which becomes more complex as matter organizes itself into higher forms. We tend to identify consciousness only with its developed manifestations, but its roots lie in all levels of reality. When we face this, we will realize that the external world is actually an extension of our body and consciousness.

Man and the universe: a web of close ties

When scientists deeply study human behavior and the interactions between him and his environment, a surprising picture emerges. It turns out that it is impossible to completely separate the actions and processes of man and the outside world. Every moment, we influence the environment and are affected by it in countless ways, with ceaseless streams of energy, matter and information flowing between us. Reality is revealed as a dynamic fabric of interrelationships and connectivity, where everything depends on everything. Although we tend to perceive ourselves as separate and independent entities, in fact we are manifestations of the entire cosmic process. Like the waves in the sea, we are momentary realizations of the great ocean of existence.

The illusion of separateness and the journey to perfection

If our true nature is actually total unity with the entire universe, why do we feel so disconnected and alien to it? The reason lies in the fact that we have become accustomed to identifying ourselves with a small and limited part of consciousness. Our culture trains us to focus on focused attention, the “spotlight” that illuminates a narrow corner of reality. We develop a sense of “I” which is identified with the ceaseless mental stream of thoughts, feelings and sensations. But there is another dimension to the experience, which like the “light of the flashlight” surrounds the entire being without perceiving it as an object. When our awareness expands and includes the entire field, we experience a spiritual awakening, a deep understanding of our belonging and merging with our full being.

The structure of the self: between multiplicity and unity

Each of us experiences himself as a unique individual, different and different from others. But as the one sun shines through many rays, so the unified cosmic self chooses to incarnate in an infinite variety of forms. He plays the “human game”, wearing and shedding identities like clothes, always in motion and change. We are so engrossed in the game that we have forgotten that we are the one player, the basic essence that constitutes everything. But the thirst for unity, the deep longing to return home to the root, drives us to search for a wider meaning. She leads us on the path of awakening, to the recognition of who we really are beyond thoughts and passing forms.

The world as an extension of the self

When we realize that the external reality is actually an integral part of us, our attitude towards it will change completely. We will stop seeing it as an enemy to be “conquered”, a resource to be exploited or an arena of constant struggle. We will start acting in it out of respect, listening and cooperation. A skilled architect, when he comes to plan a house on a hill, will study the shape of the landscape and try to adapt the structure to the area in harmony. He will not forcefully try to impose a pre-prepared form on an environment that does not suit it, as he is attentive to the natural needs of each system. Likewise, when we recognize that the world is our extended body, we will be able to create and develop in it in much more balanced and sustainable ways.

Summary: The path to the true self

The perception of the self as an isolated ego, residing inside a body and disconnected from its environment, is a basic illusion that clouds the human experience. In practice, we not only live in the world, but grow and emerge from it at this very moment. If we expand our awareness beyond the narrow limits of the “spotlight” consciousness, to the richness and depth of the “flashlight” consciousness, we will discover that we are a calculated, practical and inseparable part of the world. The time has come to abandon fear and resistance towards reality, and embrace with recognition and joy the intimate connection between us and the entire universe. In this journey, we will discover that our true self is the essence of life itself, playing its infinite variety of games of revelation, here and now.